Looking back
When I first start studying Japanese, I listened to podcasts like Tokyo Calling. It was fascinating to listen to people living overseas talk about their daily experiences. Scott Lockman, the host, has discontinued his podcast a few times, often to revive it for brief periods with differing formats. Because I like the guy, I kept my subscription to his podcast going all these years, but recently he announced he was letting the domain expire. It was kind of sad to hear.
I think it’s especially sad because my second great passion after playing bass, Japanese, languishing. I never have time to study. Work keeps me so busy that I come home stressed, with my chest tight. I spend time with my wife, do some more work, and go to bed. I like the job, but miss the hours I spent studying, making progress, and the feeling of those lightbulb moments when some grammar comes together.
I am lucky; I have had the opportunity to realize many of my dreams. This is one of those times in my life where I need more patience. To put my head down, like when I was practicing bass as a teen, or saving money for Japan by working 2 jobs.
I have fear during these times that the fun is over, that my life from here on is to be a slog. It’s never true, I am just dramatic.
